 |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
Introduction:
Boy, another relationship book. We certainly have been inundated with them. Every professional expert at relationships, even those that have been married as many as four times, with an interest in publishing his or her new breakthrough concept has published a book about it. So many books have been published on the subject without any impact on our divorce rate that many have given up reading them.
So here is another source that claims to have "all of the answers". And the author isn't even a practicing therapist. After all, they must be the experts.
While researching and writing the book the author received so many opinions from so many different people, because the source is obviously of interest to so many, that he has compiled the questions, and answers to those questions below.
After all, if you really want help in your relationship the first step for you as an interested party would be to understand how any body of work, whether that be a book or some therapeutic technique, really offers some assistance. If this site's claims that here is the only source for help is true then we would be able to see that with answers to obvious questions.
|
| 1. So what makes your book different from all of the rest that have been published? |
|
| Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage is the only book that has been published that is completely logical in its presentation of the happy relationship and the root causes of the unhappy relationship. |
| |
| 2. But don't all relationship books show the reader how to change their unhappy relationships?
|
|
| No. To begin with, they all assume that unhappy relationships are a fact by concluding that arguments are a part of every relationship. In addition, the advice in all other books is for the couple to change behavioral patterns with no advice for the cause of the behavior. |
| |
| 3. But doesn't every relationship include arguments? |
|
| No. The single most significant difference between happy, healthy couples and unhappy, unhealthy couples is the manner that both address inevitable conflicts. Happy, healthy couples address them as disagreements while unhappy, unhealthy couples address them as arguments.
|
| |
| 4. What is the difference between disagreements and arguments? |
|
| Disagreements are logical conflicts while arguments are emotional conflicts. In other words, in disagreements the couple pursue the conflict through problem solving, while with arguments the couple pursue the conflict through fault finding.
|
| |
| 5. What is the difference between fault finding and problem solving? |
|
| In fault finding the couple feels about a behavior after it occurs or thinks about a conflict before it occurs. With problem solving the couple feel about a conflict before it occurs or think about a behavior after it occurs. Fault finding is looking backwards while problem solving is looking forward. |
| |
| 6. What is the key difference between your book and all of the rest? |
|
| Unlike other relationship books, mostly written by psychologists with little or no description of the working of the mind, Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage goes to great lengths to explain the working of the mind, in all of its simplicity. |
| |
| 7. Why do books written by psychologists not include an element of psychology? |
|
| A fundamental tenet of the teachings of mainstream psychology, based on theories developed by Freud, is that we are born with our brains and there is nothing that can be done about physical defects. This thesis renders the mind as a non-existent entity.
|
| |
| 8. Are you saying that one aspect of psychology is that the mind does not impact behavior? |
|
| Yes. Most significantly the psychological industry does not believe that thinking has anything to do with behavior. The basic therapy technique, cognitive behavioral therapy, only uses thoughts to describe feelings. |
| |
| 9. But isn't the mind complex, not simple? |
|
| One of the greatest aspects of Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage is that a happy mind is a simple one. Happiness is simple common sense. The complex mind is an unhappy one. |
| |
| 10. What gives you, someone who has not been classically trained in psychology, the ability to comprehend the working of the mind? |
|
My ability to understand how the mind works is because I have not been classically trained as a psychologist. In fact, my background as a Wall Street research analyst, particularly a semiconductor analyst, provides the key background for tackling this subject. The research undertaken before writing this book was approached with the same critical reasoning required of an analyst. In addition, the most significant aspect of Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage is the utilization of the work of psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuroscientists, other than Freud, who theorized and discovered an active mine, one capable of thinking.
Secondly, experiences of my own personal life have revealed to me how the mind of people who are happy and unhappy work. After the fact, I realized that solving this problem was my fate. |
| |
| 11. What is another difference with your book? |
|
| While the other books assume arguments are a part of every relationship, and simply move on with illogical circular logic, Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage breaks down the components of the argument so that the reader can understand the root causes. The Hierarchy of the Argument shows the reader the logic of the argument. |
| |
| 12. What other differences are there with your book? |
|
| The other significant difference is that Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage elaborates on a logical platform for resolving the inevitable conflicts, a concept known as common sense. Common sense is a body of knowledge that society has developed for proper behavior, the antecedent to common law, the concept of improper behavior. |
| |
| 13. What do you mean by the concept of equality within the relationship? |
|
| Equality within the relationship is psychological equality, where both people involved have equal access to the thinking and feeling side of the psyche. |
| |
| 14. So what do you think is the biggest reason for our fifty percent divorce rate? |
|
| Traditionally, throughout the history of civilization man has developed the thinking side of the psyche while the woman has developed the feeling side. Men developed our institutions while women developed the emotional bond within the family. |
| |
| 15. So what has changed in modern society? |
|
| The equal rights movement of the sixties and seventies finally brought education to women for the first time in history, while the sexual revolution brought on by the advent of the pill has taught men to feel for the first time in history. We are simply having a hard time with the transition.
|
| |
| 16. So what is the fundamental cause of the struggle? |
|
| Women are questioning the power and control that men have traditionally had within the relationship. The tradition of the patriarchy system of the relationship held that man was in control. Equality calls for sharing control. |
| |
| 17. What is the outcome of a relationship based on equality? |
|
| Psychological freedom, nirvana, spirituality, utopia, the mountaintop, balance, harmony, wholeness, happiness, empathy, patience, karma, and finally, happy, healthy, well-balanced children. |
Home 
