Introduction:

Why is knowledge of mathematics important to understanding relationships?

Almost without exception, observed the great 20th Century philosopher Bertrand Russell in his exhaustive study of the history of Western philosophy, modern Platonists “are ignorant of mathematics, in spite of the immense importance Plato attached to arithmetic and geometry, and the immense influence that they had on his philosophy.

Russell aptly sums up why modern psychology has been remarkably unable to grapple with the very human struggle of modern relationships. Tim Kellis calls today’s relationship gurus Freudian failures as one out of every two marriages are dissolving in divorce. The approach by Dr. Phil and others is merely psychological and intuitive, when what’s required is a more analytical and scientific evaluation of the philosophy in human relationships we call happiness.

According to Kellis, mathematics is the very basis for science as well as a prerequisite for understanding logic and philosophy. A student of mathematics and engineering, as well as a brilliant Wall Street analyst, he tells his clients: “Happiness is a philosophy not a psychology.” The ability to comprehend the causes of relationship struggles requires the skill to analyze, comprehend and then write, he says. His mathematically derived analytical skills provide the foundation for his ability to find the relationship solution that can save marriages.

Overview:

For Kellis, writing this book has been a life experience involving his professional and personal life, as well as his imposing intellectual and emotional development, that has led him to understand how to make a relationship work.

“Too often I’ve heard ‘I’d rather be happy and single, than unhappy and married.’ Yet my parents taught me that divorce was not an option in life, something they taught me not by what they said, but by how they lived. They had a very unhappy relationship for a very long time, but they stayed married. The only reason I was able to come to understand how to make a relationship successful is because I was able to overcome my own childhood shortcomings, forgive my parents and see them for who they really were--my parents.

Ambition and a strong aptitude for math helped lead Kellis to discover how to make relationships work. His math skills led directly to an engineering degree, nine years in the telecommunications industry, an MBA in finance, and finally on to Wall Street, where he became the very first semiconductor analyst to focus on the communications market.

As an analyst you are required to be an expert in your field. The research completed before writing Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage was pursued in the same fashion as that required before becoming an analyst. The search for the truth requires a critical mind.

After publishing a 300-page initiation piece entitled Initiating Coverage of the Semiconductor Industry: Riding the Bandwidth Wave, Kellis became a leading semiconductor analyst at one of the biggest firms on Wall Street. As an analyst, he was in constant contact with investors, honing his presentation skills to the point that he became an expert presenter, a skill he believes is essential in his new role as relationship advisor. The experience he gained as a Wall Street analyst provided an excellent backdrop for researching and writing a book on relationships. As an analyst he had to deal with many egos, some healthy, some not. During this time, he learned why corporations and systems functioned at their best or worst and today applies much of what he learned to smaller, more intimate systems embodied in relationships.

What is the thread common to all corporations? Regardless of industry, almost every company starts out initially with the sole purpose of providing a product or service that makes its customers happy. The exception here is relationship therapists who have simply rationalized unhappiness. Competition exists to keep every corporation on its toes. Try to think of a product that makes customers unhappy or a television commercial where the actors are portrayed being unhappy using a specific company’s product or service. There aren’t any.

Discovering the roots of happiness

According to Kellis, “working with so many people who loved their jobs on Wall Street exposed me to many happy relationships. Their happiness was not simply a result of how much money they made, many of the happy relationships were with people who were not making a lot of money, but because they found working on Street incredibly intense and exciting. The common notion within mainstream psychology that relationships without arguments are impossible is simply a fallacy.